On the previous blog, we spoke about tantrums in the home and how to best manage them. But, what about when being out doing groceries, holiday shopping, or at a birthday party??
It can be very tough on a parent to manage a meltdown, especially when everyone is staring.
Okay, so let’s get down to business…
You’re at the store with your child, they point out something they really want, and you say “No, you can’t have that”, and there it is…the trigger the caused a meltdown. Now, your child is crying, screaming, and kicking. What do you do?
First thing is to ensure safety – the last thing we want is a small child running away from adults or throwing things at you or others, therefore it is best to ensure that they remain in a safe area while being supervised.
The next best thing to do during a meltdown is to wait until it is over. The time varies from child to child, so patience is key in this scenario.
Since being denied something that the child wanted is what caused the tantrum, it is wise to not deliver the desired item because this will only reward the tantrum behavior. The child might receive the message “Oh, I cried and screamed and got what I wanted. I’m trying this next time” if you give into the tantrum.
Once the child is back to their calm state, you and your child can resume shopping without mentioning the tantrum. If the child mentions the item again, you can say “No, you cannot have the toy car, but you can have a lollipop or a bag of chips”
Providing other options after being told “no” can help the child feel in control of what they pick and may even reduce tantrum behavior in the future.
Some preventative strategies to incorporate during the outing can be…
- Setting expectations – this means using simple terms to explain to your child that you are grocery shopping and that you will not buy any toys even if the child asks for them
- Acknowledging when the child is caught being good – for instance, you can say “I love how you’re sitting so nicely while I shop”, “good job waiting for mommy”, etc.
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