Think of a time when you have been so upset that you just wish to break everything in sight – you are angry, and emotions are running high. Now, imagine having someone continuously tell you to calm down and expect you to do so immediately. Now, imagine this emotional state being experienced by a young child. If you thought to yourself ‘wow, that is a lot on a child’ then your thoughts are rightfully placed! Children, especially the younger ones, have a tough time self-regulating when they are experiencing BIG emotions.
During meltdowns, it is important to maintain their safety and to limit demands. The priority at this point is to deescalate the tantrum. Demanding that your child stops crying and yelling will only make matters worse. Brace yourself and wait for signs of your child returning to their regulated state and practice breathing exercises with them.
It is also important to not be reactive to the meltdowns and instead look for solutions to avoid an escalating tantrum from occurring.
Several ways to do this is by:
- Figuring out why your child engages in meltdowns: do they want something? Are certain sounds disturbing them? Are they not feeling well?, etc.
- Remaining calm and using a neutral tone – don’t yell, scold, or threaten
- Providing sensory experiences that help calm your child
Real-time example:
Child: “I want the tablet”
Mom: “Your tablet’s battery is dead, you’ll have to wait for 10 minutes while it charges”
Child: cries, yells, throws items
Mom: immediately guides child to safe area – play area where there’s a soft mat on the ground and waits for child to calm down and withholds further demands
Child: is calmer but still a little emotional
Mom: “I understand you’re upset about not being able to use your tablet right away. As soon as it’s charged you can use it. Practice breathing with mommy to help you stay calm”
Child: follows breathing instructions
Mom: “thank you for practicing with me and I’m very proud of you for waiting. While you wait for your tablet, do you want play-doh or building blocks?”
In the example above, the child’s safety was prioritized. Mom withheld further instructions and when child was calmer, she validated child’s emotions, practiced an alternative behavior, praised child for waiting, and provided choices.
Stay tuned for our next blog! “Handling Tantrums/Meltdown in Public Places”